Swirling thougths, round and round. Mostly because I’m tired, I know.
Do you think it’s possible to truly trust anyone? I mean, it seems like people randomly alter the reality around them so much, that they really can’t even be held accountable for what they say … even when they think they’re being truthful. I’m finding most people say a lot, but when it comes down to it, we’re all involved in layers of each other’s lives, and there are always others closer and further away. So to take whatever someone says at “face value” is simply an invitation to set yourself up for betrayal.
I tend to be a person who hears a lot. But I rarely believe anything anymore. I had a really vulnerable moment with a near stranger the other day, and I had to walk away. There was just something about this person that broke me a little … and it was scary. I told him later, “Now that I’ve been vulerable with you, it’s going to be tougher to be mean to you …” But that brief encounter was enough to remind me that none of us really know who we are. And we definately don’t know each other, regardless of the depth of relationship.
So, for me, it means taking things as they come. Not placing expectations on anyone. Not setting myself up for disappointment. Enjoying the moments of life, and finding true honesty and goodness in the four children I have. They have this — I dunno — way of making me believe life might really be pure, honest and good someday. But that’s another blog …
I see why people who think — and think deeply — often cannot survive this reality. Nothing is really as it seems (as my zen brothers and sisters would attest), and someone searching for “truth” eventually comes up to the wall of non-truth … and it is simply a mirror. Then, there’s very little to believe in anymore, because the reflection isn’t even real.
OK, time for bed.
